


Dart Hearts

by minticat



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One)
Genre: General Shenanigans, M/M, Post-Canon, its nerf or nothin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 09:41:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20240758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minticat/pseuds/minticat
Summary: Misfire and Swerve try to win a round of Shoot Shoot Bang Bang aboard the Lost Light.





	Dart Hearts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [meggymooboob](https://archiveofourown.org/users/meggymooboob/gifts).

> silly lil birthday gift fic for megan (ilu)!

“This is a really bad place to be hiding, y’know.”

Swerve sighed and ducked back down behind the bar counter. “And why is that?”

“Because everyone else knows we’re a team and they know we’re gonna be hiding in _your own damn bar_, Swerve!”

Throwing a cocky grin at Misfire, Swerve pushed a hidden button under the countertop, and Misfire jumped as the room around them began to shift, turrets and traps and other weaponry rising from the floor and walls.

“No one ever told you about my security system, huh?”

Misfire gawked, staring wide-eyed at the guns on the ceiling. “What. This is awesome, don’t get me wrong, but _what?_”

Swerve shrugged. “It was Brainstorm’s idea. Came in mighty handy when a bunch of Legislators were storming the ship. Anyways, I’ve made some minor adjustments…instead of bullets, everything fires foam darts. Anyone who comes in here will be instantly eliminated.”

Grinning like a loon, Misfire dropped his Nerf gun onto the ground and kicked it to the other side of the bar. “Guess I don’t need that, huh?”

“Can’t hit anyone with it anyway.”

“Okay, Mister My First Blas-”

The doors to the bar suddenly creaked open and Misfire cackled, slamming his hand down on the _“FIRE”_ button, unleashing a torrent of Nerf darts for about thirty seconds. When the rain of darts came to an end, the two bots popped up from behind the counter to see which of their opponents they had taken out–

–only to find a very displeased looking Minimus, standing there covered in neon orange darts.

“_What_ is the meaning of this?” Minimus said, picking the darts off his plating and dropping them on the ground.

“It’s, um, we’re in a game of Shoot Shoot Bang Bang with some of the crew.” Swerve said. “We thought we could take out a whole team by using the security system, but…”

“Oh well!” Misfire shrugged. He bent down behind the counter and picked up his gun again, shoving a bunch of darts into his subspace. “I guess we’ll have to do this the old-fashioned way, eh, Swervester?”

“Uhh, yep. Sorry, Mags! Guess you lost!” Swerve said as he hopped over the bar to join Misfire.

“You all had better clean up after yourselves! I don’t want any obstructions in the halls!” Minimus admonished as the two booked it out, giggling maniacally.

“Do ya think he’s gonna write us up?” Misfire asked, reloading his Nerf as they walked.

“Mags? Nah. He’s chilled out a lot. He was a lot more uptight when our quest first began. When I first opened the bar, he arrested me.”

“Ha! Let me guess, you had some kind of illicit drink on offer? Subspace filtered engex?”

“No! Not right away, anyway. Had to call Cerebros for that. I just didn’t tell him I was starting my own business up. No permits, no proper regulations. It was kind of impulsive. I mean, I had wanted to start up my own bar for awhile, so when the opportunity presented itself–“

“_GOT YOU NOW!!_”

Swerve and Misfire whirled around to see Brainstorm and Nautica charging down the hall towards them, dart guns brandished. Misfire quickly pulled Swerve into a nearby service corridor, throwing a handful of darts at him. “Get out out your blaster and reload, I’ll try and hold them off!”

“Misfire, wait–“

Misfire gave a battle cry and charged back out into the hall, Nerf gun blazing. Swerve watched from around the corner as, predictably, dozens of darts covered his chestplate and wings.

“We got you! You’re out!” Nautica said, high-fiving Brainstorm. They pressed a button on their weapons and the darts unstuck themselves from Misfire, being pulled back into the barrels; because _of course_ Brainstorm had made custom weapons.

Misfire just smirked. “There’s no evidence you shot me now. Therefore, I’m not out.” He raised his gun and fired two darts– one at Nautica, and the other at Brainstorm. “Now you’re both out!”

Nautica gaped at him and Swerve couldn’t help himself from bursting into laughter.

“What– you can’t just bend the rules like that!” she stammered. Brainstorm said nothing and turned around, going back from whence he came.

“Scavengers game, Scavengers rules!” Misfire said, the shit-eating grin on his face growing wider. Nautica groaned and gave it up, following after her amica.

Misfire ducked back into the corridor, and Swerve punched him on the arm. “That,” he said, trying to suppress his laughter, “was awesome.”

“Thanks. I made that rule up just now. I saved both of our hides, you’re welcome. Do I get a prize?”

Swerve rolled his optics behind his visor and laid a quick kiss on Misfire’s cheek. “There. Can we go win this game now? I have a bet with Tailgate.”

“Hells yeah. Let’s go find Grimlock and make him be a shield.”

* * *

“Grimsy pleaaaaaase.”

“Can’t. It’s my day to look after Connie. We have a schedule, remember?” Grimlock said, raising an eyebrow.

Misfire groaned. “Yeah, rightrightright. Well, just make sure she eats all her energon gummies this time, alright? Don’t let that pout she does get to you.” he said, tapping his gun against Grimlock’s chest. Grimlock huffed in amusement and shoved it away, seeing Misfire and Swerve out of his room.

“It won’t. Don’t lose too hard now, idiots.”

Misfire stuck his tongue out at Grimlock as he shuffled backwards down the hall, waving his Nerf around.

“Interesting relationship you two have.” Swerve said, and Misfire reached down to take his hand.

“Everybody on this ship has weird relationships ‘cause everybody on this ship is weird. Except us, we’re not weird.”

Swerve shoved him in the side playfully. “You are _so_ weird.”

“Me? I’m the most normal guy around– wait.”

Misfire threw his arm out, stopping Swerve in his tracks, then silently motioned for him to get behind a nearby support beam.

“What? Did you see someone?”

“Krok and Fulcrum. Right up ahead to the right. They’ll call me out if I try to make up new rules, so here’s the plan. I’ll go around from the other direction and shoot a dart to distract them. While I’m sneaking around, you creep up behind them and get them while they’re trying to figure out where my dart came from. Got it?”

“Got it.”

“Good luck, Swervester.” Misfire winked, slinging his Nerf over his shoulder and disappearing down an adjacent hall. Swerve steeled himself and quietly crept along, darting behind pillars and walls to avoid being seen.

A minute passed before he heard the faint sound of a dart being fired.

“What was that?” he heard Fulcrum say, followed by the sound of footsteps running in Misfire’s direction.

Seizing his chance, Swerve jumped out from behind the wall and opened fire, managing to stick both of the Decepticons in the back with darts. Misfire gave a loud victorious hoot from the other side of the hallway, and he jabbed Fulcrum in the chest. “Got you, pinheads one and two.”

“Yeah, we’ve already been eliminated.” Krok said. “Why do you think we’re not holding dart guns? Crankcase and Cons took us out ten minutes ago.”

“Aw, man!” Swerve said. “How’d they get you?”

“_Like this!”_

Before they could even look around, a rain of darts poured down on Swerve and Misfire in a torrent of orange fury.

“Game over!” Cons4eva said, cackling, and it was then Misfire realized he was hiding in the vents. Crankcase was up there, too, having a laugh of his own.

“Why you–“

“Scavengers game, Scavengers rules!” Crankcase said, and he and Cons4eva crawled away further down the air ducts.

“Oh my god.” Swerve said, his head in his hands. “They must have been following us around up there the whole time.”

“We’ll just have to utilize that tactic next time.” Misfire said, picking darts off Swerve. “Let’s go watch a movie while the rest of this war pans out.”

“Deal. Think you can sit through all four hours of _Return of the King?”_

“Is that a challenge? Cause you’re on, sweetspark.”


End file.
